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Better late than never

Created by

Boss

Created

13/06/17

Views

212

Replies

4

Created: 13/06/17
Views: 212
Replies: 4
 
Boss said,
Beginning of thread

Hi I'm a 46 year old father of two who came out to my wife two years ago. It has been a very difficult two years. I have felt extremely lonely during that time and have pined for conversations with likeminded blokes. I live in a regional area which increases the isolation. This has been very difficult to find on general gay/bi social networks as they are mostly for hooking up. I repressed myself for 30+ years and have only recently acted on my feelings. Obviously I am after chats with guys who have similar experiences to myself. I have always been attracted to men and women and identify as bisexual. I now find myself grieving for a past I never had and struggling with anger. I feel I have humiliated myself and have suffered mental health issues over this time. I have separated from my wife and am able to explore my new identity. Our children are in their early teens and my wife and I have decided it's not the best time to inform our children of my identity.
Feel free to comment if you have similar experiences
Best
Boss (not my real name. Lol)

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Bruce said,

Hey Boss, I replied to a post under 'want to come out to wife today' - you might find it interesting.
I totally realize how different things are if you're in a rural setting, which was the case around the time of my coming out.
Despite the fact that there is still homophobia around, don't underestimate the fact that we can be more phobic than our environment.
I only have heard some nasty comments indirectly; the vast majority of people were totally accepting, even my very strict Christian family members back home (Europe) made it clear to me: 'we love you for who you are, not for with who you sleep'.
Anyway, just replying just to say that you're not alone. (and even through 'hook up' sites it is possible to meet nice guys)

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Boss said,

Thanks Bruce. Yeah I've actually found some decent guys to chat to on gay apps which has been great. Few and far between though. I'm not really bothered anymore with homophobia in a regional area - its par for the course - and is a big reason I stayed in the closet. I'm more concerned with lack of opportunities to mix with people who are in a similar situation. It's all very furtive and underground as opposed to being able to walk into a bar and meet like minded people. Networks are hard to find, but still we search..

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RobDice said,
End of thread

How about combining the work and studying process? I used to think it was absurd, but now I am full of enthusiasm. It is possible that now my life will change a lot.

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