Im so bloody scared

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Created: 13/12/18
Views: 64
Replies: 3
Swill said,
Beginning of thread

Hi there,
I’m hiding a terrible lie! I’m a father of four and married for 23 years!
I’ve always known I’m gay but didn’t want to admit it!!
I don’t want to break my amazing family apart or break my wife’s heart but my oldest daughter has just come out to us and I can’t help feeling that she deserves the truth from me
I have also just recently caught up with a mate that I haven’t been in contact with for over 25 years! I stopped talking to him because I was infatuated with him and knew that he was straight so I cut all ties with him. He also needs the truth from me so we can remain friends!
I have contemplated suicide to resolve the issue however know that is not going to resolve anything.
Not sure if this forum is still active, however it feels good to say this on a forum!

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mrjc1973_at_gmail.com said,

Hey Swill, I've been with my wife for 20 years and came out to her 12 months ago, after I had been cheating on her for several years. We're still together, although it hasn't been easy. It does feel good to be honest with her.

I would recommend its best to tell your wife first, before she finds out some other way, that would be a lot worse. It doesn't necessarily mean the end of your marriage or family, unless that's what you or your wife want.

Suicide is not the answer. I have those thoughts too but I always think of my kids and how they would feel knowing that their dad wasn't strong enough to be there for them.

I don't know about telling your friend. I told a friend of mine and it didn't really turn out the way I thought it would, basically we're not close anymore, I think some people, maybe straight guys in particular, don't know how to react.

Anyway I just stumble across this website, as I myself am going through a period where I am feeling very alone in this world.

I hope this helps.


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GM15 said,
End of thread

Hey Swill,

Feeling your pain mate ...
After 18 years of marriage and two beautiful kids, my wife and I separated 2 months ago, and during this time I've come to terms with my sexuality and just last week let her know that I'm gay.
There is so much pain for us to all work through, but there seems like there is no other way ... authenticity and being the true version of yourselves seems like the only way toward us shining brightly and being the best version of ourselves..... and something we all want for our kids, so need to demonstrate it and show them how its done ....

Timing and the way to this place is such a unique journey for every man and his family - there is no one particular way - but know that you are not alone, there are many other men in a similar situation and together we are working out how to be honest and upfront despite living a life that feels contradictory to our current circumstance / situation.

All the best mate ... it does get easier ...

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