I am 28 and I am engaged to be married to a woman I have been with for 9 years.
We have 2 children (7 and 4) and have been through a lot of turmoil in our relationship.
I have always loved her and I love my kids.
However, I have known something was different about me since I was 11.
I have always looked at guys AND girls but have always kept quiet about the guys.
I have had some secret relations with guys - nothing penetrative. But have always felt dirty after.
I always used to think that because of society that's exactly how I should feel.
I've tried to move away from it and forget about it but the more I've tried over the years the worse it has become.
We are due to marry in march next year and I feel like if I marry her I will have to commit because of financial, personal, social and moral issues.
I don't really have anyone to talk to and I'm struggling in where to talk to someone or some sort of advice.
Someone in the same situation as me...
I don't want to come out when I'm 40 just because that is the norm and my kids will be older and understand more.
I have always put others before me and have always tried to make people happy and it think this is a detriment to my own happiness.