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Married with kids

Created by

John leaver

Created

17/04/17

Views

973

Replies

11

Created: 17/04/17
Views: 973
Replies: 11
 
John leaver said,
Beginning of thread

Hi all, found this site through a mate that is also married.
As i said im married with two boys who i love adore and will always protect.
I also have a wife who i adore love and will also always protect. We also run a successful business and have wonderful friends.......sounds familiar to some im sure!!
Ive been seeing guys on the side for sometime now ( 18mths) and have been having a relationship with a guy who i feel i could have a long relationship with.
I guess im just wanting to hear from guys who can sympathise with me and share there experiences. Ive never thought i was gay and always thought these feelings would go(how stupid). Thanks for reading and hope to hear from some of you.

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Runner81 said,

Hi John,
Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story. This forum is definitely a good place to reach out to other guys who are in the same situation as you are.

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John leaver said,

Hey runner81, yeah a mate suggested i got in touch here and see where it leads. Married for 15 years and just dont know where to move from here.
All my adult life has been tricky and i just wish i was truthful to myself years ago rather than living this lie.
I know it sounds like a sob story but when youve been brought up to live a certain lifestyle you dont want to disappoint or bring embarressment to your family. (How stupid).
So many people would be crushed if i spoke out now........tricky one.

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Bloke said,

I get where ur coming from. What area do you live ?

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John leaver said,

Canberra

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James66 said,

A mate of mine went through the same thing but in the end he did come out. His kids took it the best and he has a great relationship with them but after 10 years the relationship with his ex-wife is strained. But he has a wonderful male partner and he is extremely happy in this new life. I suppose what I am saying is there is a choice and there are potential consequences. It has to be right for you.....and you can just carry on as you are if that suits you. Talking about the situation either on here or elsewhere should be helpful too.

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John leaver said,

Hi james66, ive got a mate ive known for several years now that is in the same position as myself. Hes planing to tell his wife when there son finishes high school this year.
We both communicate and catch regularly which is really nice. Feels good knowing you are not alone if you know what i mean.

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Hi John

I help run a support group for men like us called gamma.org.au . I was married for 15 years and have 3 daughters now all in their teens. I came out 6 years ago. I can really understand your feelings and I also understand why some guys in our position wait until their kids are older before making the bold decision to be authentic. However, won of the lessons that I think I have learned by listening to so many Dads that have made this decision is that their kids feel a little bit like they have been living a lie, and the Dad's feel like they have lost so much time to live a different kind of life. From listening to these Dad's I feel that waiting has not always been the best decision, though it does have some benefits.

My daughters were 10/10 and 6 and whilst that had some challenges, our relationship is now very honest and very open, and I almost feel that I have been able to show them how to live life and be yourself, no matter what the consequence. Of course there is always a ying for the yang, however I would make the same decision again.

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