Johhnyx I would have to disagree with your suggestion. From my experience (and four failed marriages), I believe that, if you're having sex outside a heterosexual marriage there is no other way to see it than 'cheating'. Unless you have been honest with your partner then your buddies are no different than female ones. I'm not judging you on your solution, but suggest you try to see how you would feel if the situation were reversed: you're slaving away at work each day, while your wife is enjoying lesbian affairs with a selection of girlfriends. Would you be OK with that?
I've "been there, done that" so please don't think me judgemental, and we guys delude ourselves that our sexuality is different to a woman's (they need connection, we just need relief!) but I think the question is more one of what a marriage should be - and I think honesty should be the bed-rock. That's my take. I don't think you really hide your true feelings once you're naked. Good luck anyway. Whatever works for you and your gay mates!