A little of my story. I am a married guy with 4 young kids. I have always known I was attracted to men, however due to religious conviction chose to put this aside and pursue a heterosexual lifestyle. Hind site is a wonderful thing. Time over I think I would have approached life differently, however my situation is of my own choices.

As many of the other guys here have shared, my kids are my #1 priority. I intend hanging around until they are older (well into their teens) - this is for a couple of reasons. Firstly I believe the trauma of having Mum & Dad separate would be harmful to their development (I know many kids have experienced it and came out the other end doing ok, but I choose not to subject my kids to that). Secondly, the family law courts are not overly sympathetic or appreciative of Fathers. So for now, I will hang around.

I mentioned earlier about my religious conviction. This is still very real and something I battle with often. As I think through it, I am not sure if it is genuine conviction or if it is guilt that has embedded itself in my psych. But this is a whole conversation/thesis in itself :)

Like many others here, I frequently play around with other guys. I am careful about how and where I do this. I live in a small community so mainly play when I travel. Random encounters are wearing thin. I'd prefer something a little more meaningful but at the sometime Im nervous about this on the chance that I fall for a guy - that will make it really tricky LOL.

Anyway, thats me in a nutshell. As you can see, I totally have it together :)

For many of us older guys, coming out wasn't an option, and in the confusion of late teen and early 20s the path to finding a life partner of opposite sex was the only way to go......most of us still had a good sex life, and the joy of having kids and committing to their upbringing.
As the years went on, those nasty little urges reassert themselves, and by the 40s I was looking more for male partners. Eventually... in my 60s, I was able to say to my wife that actually I had always been more attracted to men... I was always scared that this was a horrible put down for her..... however she just said she,s always known that !!!!!... but our marriage was still worthwhile on other levels.

Maybe if your wife is the right sort, you can have this conversation and it helps dispel the guilt of hiding it from someone so important....

Hi Daveo, good on you I'm in the same boat.

Daveo it was good reading your story. Your love and commitment to your kids is admirable and if you can manage things in your life this way then all good. I was thinking about the religious aspect and my feelings are that we can all have our own interpretation of belief. Most religions have different versions and i guess were written by people so why have your own private belief. I have heard however of the All Inclusive Church....it may be helpful to google them and have a look at what they have to say too. It was really helpful to a friend I have and also provided extra contact with guys in the same situation.....just a thought.