I'm 40 and married with young kids. Very very happy in my life but really really want physical male contact but the guilt kills me. But I can't stop thinking about it which make me feel like a bad person. What can I do?

Hey James76....unfortunately for some of us this is a reality, and from my experience the desires don't go away - no matter how hard you try. I was in your shoes...my kids were 10/10/6 - but I couldn't stand the guilt any longer. I came out to my wife and started the journey to authenticity. Not having that guilt on your shoulders is one of the biggest reliefs...but I won't lie - the first couple of years were very difficult. Now 6 years later, I have a good relationship with my ex-wife and the kids and my friends are all aware. We do some family things together which I really enjoy but I can do it all without the guilt. On some level I think my kids are more rounded for the exposure. If I could give advice I would say "face it" don't hide from it. Save yourself years of pain.

Stu's comments remind me of a friend of mine who is married and who also has sex with a man. He is beset with guilt as a result, and I am wondering how best I can counsel him on this important matter. I have told him about this Website.

If there are guys you know that want to talk to someone, please give them the hotline for GAMMA 1800 804 617. There is someone always available to chat with.

hear hear James76, I'm in the same situation! Let's meet to kill these urges? I actually feel the same way - love my wife, I have sex with her and enjoy it but I reckon I'm bi as I enjoy watching gay porn. I would love to try a real experience but not sure how and don't want to risk my marriage for that.. any tips?

Hello Bruno this is James76. I just logged in with a new handle cause I forgot all my passwords etc. keen to meet.

Hi Bruno and Quentin if either of you are in Newcastle I would love to catch up for a chat