Hi I'm 42 yo told my wife of 15 years I'm gay and she now hates me . I can't hide who l am anymore she found gay pornography on my tablet and l told her
Hard to accept that my marriage is over but I've been seeing men for years at sauna
Waiting for divorce but l can't help who l am
Ben

it's such a difficult situation. you'll get through it and so will she , even though it is probably the hardest thing ever. can i ask how your life became about? what sort of feelings did you have at the beginning of your relationship , to marriage and so forth? did you love her? and what about your sex life?

i apologize if my questions are overwhelming in such time , you don't have to answer my questions , but i just wanted to understand in detail since im sort of experiencing some mixed feelings.

I loved her but l like men more l found myself craving to be at gay saunas and thinking of men all the time I'm accepting who l am now
If you are thinking of men and watching lots of gay pornography you are gay it won't go away
The kids are the thing l miss the most not the ex
Coming out is hard and I'm still nervous about what I've done
Ben

hey Ben, I'm going through a similar situation myself, I have also been feeling very stressed and depressed. My wife has been very understanding though.

Hi Ben, i think your amazing for being able to be finally true to youself and your wife.
Im 40 have 2 kids and married for 15 years and im gay. I have a regular guy who i see and we are both in love with each other. He has never once put pressure on me but i do desperatly want to come out and give up the charade. Again i think your amazing....

Same boat. Told my wife. That was the hardest thing. She told me to ignore it and that I’m a man. I can’t be gay. I have kids. We had a rough time but we are still together. Now she ignores it and I act as if it was just a phase. But it’s not. Every night I dream about being in a loving relationship with a guy and I feel so happy. I love my wife but I feel like I’m stealing her youth also. She can find someone else. We shouldn’t wait until it’s harder to move on. But I can’t seem to make the next move. I feel trapped and sometimes feel like running away or worse. What do you do when she won’t leave you? And you don’t want to hurt her?