Hey guys. Never thought I would be in this situation, and apart from the guy Im seeing no one in the world knows. I'm a bit ashamed and embarrassed about my situation, but reading everyone elses experiences has given me some keyboard courage.

I am married, have been with my wife for 5 years. We have a small child. About 12 months ago I gave into some curiosities and met a guy for a hookup that I had briefly spoken to online. Seemed perfect. He was also married with kids and just wanted a once off.

Fast forward and we ended up seeing each other multiple times. We slept over each others places when we could. And surprisingly to both of us we fell in love.

It has been hard to catch up at times, but almost without fail we message each other every day. Goodmorning and goodnight. The other day he invited me over to see him after we had not been able to catch up for a few months. He also wanted me to meet his son. Which I did.

We are in a mess. We love each other, but our kids are young and we are scared we wont be allowed to see them, or they will not remember the early influences we have had in their lives if we leave. At the same time we want to be together! We are torn between family duty and our fledgling relationship. We are both scared and feeling very guilty.

I should clarify, we don't always meet up for sex. We do just hang out if we can.

how does he feel about it?

We both feel the same way.

Its a tough one.
I've thought about trying to be in a relationship while still in the closet, and in some ways I am a bit jealous you are in that position but its a hard situation to be in. To be honest, the only way forward is to bring it out into the open if you both feel that way

Yeah it is a tough one. I guess all qe can do is support each other, talk to each other and try not to lose each other along the way.

Our kids are young and we both have some family dramas going on, so we are hoping to let a few things settle first then go for it. We are hoping to try and get things together by the end of next year.

We are both terrified though....

Is anyone else in a similar situation?

Im in a similar situation. I’m married for only 3 years. We have a very young child. I recently met up with a guy and then realised how much I missed being with a guy. I feel so guilty. Every day I think of men and at night I often dream being with a man. Then I think about my child who I love so much. If I were to divorce, I will probably never see her again or she will hate me so much when she is older and thinks that Daddy abandoned her for a man or something like that. I truely felt myself a mess..
I’m jealous of you a bit to find someone married and being in love with him too. It’s a hard one. I think the question would be: are you willing to continue this relationship under the shadow in the remainder of your lives? Or you love him enough to come out to your wives after taking the risk of possibly being pushed away from your kids.