Thanks JR - you're certainly not alone. Many of us have been through similar challenges, and that's why DALE is such a relief.
I'm hoping to schedule some regular Live Chat times in the coming weeks, with a combination of afternoons and evenings.
As volunteers and peers, all the moderators fit DALE chats and forum posts between regular work and life commitments, which means the times vary.
But whenever available, I highly recommend the Live Chat function, because it's extremely useful being able to respond to each other in realtime.

Cheers,
Jimbo

Not really great at putting things into words. I always thought I was bi and I’ve been with my wife near on 20 years married for 18 it took me losing my temper at my son over something that was to be honest pretty petty but my wife and I had a one of few massive arguments I walked out for 3 days first time ever in my marriage I’d done that. She begged me to come home and to let her in what was wrong I broke down and I’ve never cried so much in my life I told her and not at home at a park as I still couldn’t come home I told her I couldn’t do it anymore that I’m gay I tried killing myself a few years prior but my three boys is what stopped me from doing the worst thing I could have possibly done it’s been 3 months since I told my wife she has been amazing she has been hurt but she is supportive every day for me is a roller coaster of emotions the guilt being scared of the future what it may be scared my wife I’ve taken away her best years and I don’t want her to be alone. I’m still struggling and I still have horrible thoughts but I see a psychologist every 2 weeks it is helping and my beautiful 3 boys are what keeps me going every day. I have told my closets friends some said no fucking way sre you gay . But I am gay I am about to step in to the next faze of my life at nearly 50 and it’s frightening starting all over again