We feel the same way. We both kind of want to wait until our children are a bit older. I just have 1 child, he has 3. I dont think there is aby easy way.
From my point of view I think life is too short. Everyone deserves to be happy. My wife deserves to be with someone who makes her happy, and if I am just unhappy with myself and my situation I doubt I am making her happy.
Dont be jealous. Its hard not being with the person you want to be with. Even family weekends away cut deep.
I was watching Alex Strangelove on Netflix tonight and saw how they came out. It just makes me feel how good it would be if I came out too. Every time I watch something that’s LGBT related, I feel like I need to come out. Then I think of the reality I have to face after I’ve come out. It just resets me back to where I was.
I’m not sure what culture background you came from. I’m Aisian. My wife and I were introduced to each other. I brought her to Australia From another country. If I come out, it will be her taking my child away from Australia. I can’t imagine how she is gonna manage as a single mum in an Asian country and how I can manage without seeing my child. It will be a true mess. It’s just so frustrating and heartbreaking. I really struggle and am so lost.
Thank you for reading my whinge 😊
I feel the same way. Then I wonder if coming out will be a mistake. Its like a repeating cycle over and over in my head. I am scared of disappointing my family and being an embarrassment to my child.
Hi Guys
I'm in a similar position. Been married for over 30 yrs now. When i did get married i was 22/23. I was naive about sex in general and I didn't either know or acknowledge that i was gay from a young age. All the signs were there when i reflect on the past.
Ofcourse I tested the waters and didn't jump in bed with other guys until 4 yrs into my realization. I ofcourse felt sick and guilty everytime I did it but I couldn't stop. I enjoyed
the company of other gay men. Many times I did get close to guys emotionally but because I was married and had two kids, I backed away and cut off contact. I regret it now.
It is almost 20 yrs that i have lead this double life and now realize that I would love to fall in love with another guy. Do I want to come out?
I don't know the answer to that yet. I thought it was yes but I'm not ready. I have one gay friend who is supportive but the thing is that we hooked up a couple of times. I don't know his motives, he might be geniue. I watch a lot of you tube on my phone of guys falling in love, scenes from movies, etc. Some clips that i watched where from call me by your name. It touched something within me that when i went to bed , i was crying. It is so beautiful but very sad.
Ofcourse this double life has caused me a lot of anxiety and depression. I am on meds too and just now I have had to increase the dosage. My family life growing up wasn't too great but parents did the best job possible. I developed OCD as a result as I got into early teens. Not sure if this a result of me been gay or family life.
In all honestly I don't want to do. I would like to find another married guy to develop a relationship. I think its selfish to have a realtionship with a single guy, that person misses out i think.
All I want is peace but I can't have that.
Coming out will destroy my family's sense of security. Do I keep sacrificing??