Hey mike

Thanks for sharing your story.

Im not quite sure how to respond other than to share some more of mine.

The guy I have been seeing now for close to 1.5 years has just randomly cut off contact. I dont understand why, and I am emotionally shattered and heartbroken. He told me he needed a break to think after recently talking about getting engaged and joint bank accounts. Im confused and I don't know what that means.

So now I am left alone in no mans land. I have not been able to stop thinking about him, and I hope every day that he will contact me again. Im not sure everything he ever told me was a lie or not, maybe he did mean everything he said and like you got scared because of how close he was.

We are both married with kids. Its hard being functional with a wife and kids when you feel the way I do right now. Its been 2 weeks since Ive heard from him.

Anyway the point of sharing that was to say its not easier to find someone married, and if you are looking for an emotional relationship then you need to be open to that relationship progressing. If you have no intention of leaving your wife or being open to a proper gay relationship then maybe its better to avoid it in the first place and avoid the heartache. Because I can tell you from experience it really hurts.

Hey Matty
Thanks for your reply. I know i should avoid such meet ups or anything in that way. But I can't. The feeling or desire to fall in love and been held or to hold that person is so strong that I can no longer control it. My hopes are always there, that if I wait that maybe, just maybe that one person will come across my path.
I dont want to live with regrets either with losing my family or finding Mr Right.
I just dont know what to do at times.
Im sorry to hear about your position.
Waiting to hear from him, a sms or call must be hard. I have been in the situation where you are waiting to hear back and you don't.
I hope you do hear from him.

Hey Mike

Yeah I hope I hear from him too. I check a few times every day. I have a feeling he will contact me eventually. Maybe I am kidding myself, I dont know. I guess the issue for me now is if he does contact me again what does it mean? Going to have a hard time trusting him again regardless.

Hi Matty,
Try not to overthink it. I know it isn't easy. You love the guy, so you need to give yourself space and time. Its kinda like a death and part of you is mourning the relationship. I would say focus on something else but even I can't do that when i am stressing about the gay stuff.
Can I ask do you still have his number?
Is is still current?
I would send a message to him stating how you feel and what he means to you. He might not response but matie, you need some sort of closure.
There is that saying that goes:
It is better to love and lost , rather than not loved at all.

Yeah I have his number and email.

Hey Matt
I hope it didnt come across that its easy to move foward from what you are experiencing.
I can only half image what you are going through.